Theseus - Executive Vice President of Operations - Miranda Richardson
This is a conscious role reversal. She plays the part of Theseus, and in this case Operations has just swallowed up several other departments including Finance. I'd want Miranda Richardson because of her role as Queen Elizabeth I in Blackadder II. In fact, I'd want Theseus to be played this way - as a brutal flighty despot. You really don't get to see her doing that in this clip, but trust me - if you've seen the series you know exactly what I mean. If you haven't seen the series you need to go watch it yesterday.
The reason I'm putting a woman in Theseus' part is that women tend to have a stronger role in an office environment. In this world, guys tend to be the minority. In my last position, for instance, I was one of three guys (two non-management) on the office staff. This was typical everywhere but at the one call center I worked at. I also like the idea of turning some of Shakespeare's ideas on their heads.
Hippolyta - Former Executive Vice President of Finance, Currently Senior Assistant VP of Operations - Sir Nigel Hawthorne (Yes, I'm well aware that he's dead and mores the pity)
Obviously Hippolyta would have to have more lines. In fact, I'd rather see a little more tension between Theseus and Hippolyta than was seen in the play. If really were putting this on, I might pick Steve Martin as a replacement for Sir Hawthorne. Sure, he's best known as a comedian, but he can do good dramatic work as well - go see The Spanish Prisoner and come talk to me.
In this case, Hawthorne's department has been swallowed up by Operations, and he has been demoted. One chief difference between Shakespeare's play and my adaption is that there would not be a romantic relationship. Instead we have two long term bitter rivals, who are now forced to work together. Obviously Richardson is the victor, but she didn't get to fire Hawthorne, so it wasn't a total victory. The CEO insisted that she keep Hawthorne on and make put him in the deputy's position. The two of them are currently trying to make the best of a bad situation. In terms of behavior, they tend to behave like an old married couple (I'm thinking specifically of my paternal grandparents) - they never have a kind word for each other, but will defend the other against outside threats. As in the case of the actual characters, there is respect, but it is buried under a mountain of sarcasm.
Egeus - Manager of the Special Services Group and heading The Very Big Project - John C. McGinley
Egeus is a character that caused a lot of head scratching in my class, I think my version would be a lot easier to understand. He's the worst boss you've ever had. The sort of boss you instinctively duck in his presence, because you know at any moment he'll start throwing things at you. The sort of boss that begins a one on one "discussion" by kicking your door down. If you don't have a door, he'll have Facilities install one just so he can kick it down.
In the original play, Egeus is a jerk to his daughter, but respectful to Theseus. I'd turn that on it's head. McGinley would play a character that is a full on, fire breathing asshole - unless Hermia (more on her later) is within earshot; when that happens he becomes the most reasonable human being on Earth. In this case, she is his protege and he thinks of her as a daughter, though that feeling isn't reciprocated.
Egeus is part of the conflict in the original play, here too, but in the opposite direction. McGinley is a company man through and through, and highly protective of Hermia. He has two goals - both of which stand in opposition to her, though he doesn't know it in one case. He is trying to prevent her from being transferred to the night shift. The night shift is (as it is so often in the real world) career suicide. He wants her to move up the ladder with him, but she doesn't consider this a "career job" and just wants the extra money that the night shift provides, as well as to get away from McGinley who she finds a bit smothering and creepy. McGinley has no idea that the transfer originated with her. She is also part of the romantic plot, the Lysander character is a team leader at the company is a report to of one of McGinley's rivals (he considers almost everyone a rival) and he does everything he can to try to disuade her.
Hermia - Team Leader Customer Service Team One, Special Services - Felicia Day
She's well known from her role in The Guild and you should seriously watch that. It's a great show. But as Hermia, she'd have a very different role. Hermia in this play is kind of bitchy and self-centered, but in a passive-aggressive way that doesn't always get noticed by her colleagues. She doesn't see this company as her future career, and this causes conflict with her boss - though this conflict is indirect until late in the play (she tries to get quietly transferred to night shift, he thinks someone else is trying to move her and attempts to stop it.) She has an interoffice romance going with Lysander. My goal with this character is to give her less personality than Helena - again, the opposite of the original play.
Lysander - Team Leader Customer Service Team Two - ????
I honestly have no idea who I would cast in this role. I'm not going all "I don't judge guys," I just don't know in terms of drama who the current sex symbol is. Most of the ones I know are from older films. He'd essentially look like the young male lead in a soap opera, and like Helena be kind of a cardboard cut out sort of figure. Like Barbie and Ken come to life.
Lysander reports to one of Egeus' rivals - which is the first reason he hates him, the second is that he's involved with Hermia and Egeus doesn't think he's good enough. Oddly enough, the two are a lot alike and unlike Hermia, Lysander does see himself making a career at the company though Egeus is trying to sabotage it by attempting to have him transferred to the night shift instead of Hermia.
Demetrius & Helena - Team Leads Customer Service Three and Four
John Cusack and Christa Miller
I'm pretty sure you know who John Cusack is but I'm just going to link from here on out to preserve your precious bandwidth. They're a contrast with Hermia and Lysander, older, less focused on the future and more about getting through the day. Both would qualify as the sort of beaten down office workers that I've spent years seeing (and almost turned into myself.)
They're more "everyday people" than Hermia and Lysander.
Rude Mechanicals - Day Shift Customer Service Reps
Or maybe HR staff might make more sense. I really want to include the play within a play. It could either be done as a talent competition or, perhaps as a motivational video. I like the motivational video idea better. I'll admit I'm sourcing the tone of this adaption from Resume with Monsters by William Browning Spencer which you should immediately go read. One of the things I loved in the book were the motivational tracts included in the main characters paychecks that seemed to have the opposite effect.
In the role of Bottom? Jack Black.
I'm unsure who I'd want for the remaining cast members, obviously people who could play straight man against Jack Black.
Oberon, Titania and Puck - Night Shift Customer Service Managers and Customer Service Representative.
For Oberon and Titania, I'd like these two from The League of Gentlemen (WARNING video is probably not safe for work). One of the things I really didn't like about Midsummer is how they handled the fairy kingdom. Fairies were the original "other" - they sometimes looked a bit like us, but it was a parody of humanity. They were weird and obsessive when it came to their behaviors, and even when they looked attractive, they were "off" in a way you couldn't put your finger on. I want to go the troll route here and make the fairy king and queen ugly.
I'd point to Oberon's weirdness by parodying a supervisor I had once who was really in to meetings. Even when there really wasn't any information to convey. The night shift has no staff aside from Puck, who reports to Oberon. Despite this, the first time we see Oberon he is giving a meeting to an empty conference room. He's referring to power points, taking questions from the floor - the whole nine yards. When Puck interrupts him, he gets cross with him.
I think I'd like to make Titania an absurd teamwork fanatic - something like this.
Incidentally, Moss from the IT Crowd would be my choice for Puck.
I'm unsure how the conflict would work between Oberon and Titania off hand, obviously the lovers (err team leaders) get seconded to night shift and the comedy of errors begins when Puck gets ahold of them.
I'll admit, that this version makes a lot of changes from the original play, and you certainly could run the play as normal - I just like my take on it. What do you think?
